Five years of excitement, self-doubts and learning a lot of new things. Five years and I am still on my way to realizing that I am not the average fashion blogger and I can't decide if that is my luck or my curse, maybe it's just both.
You see all outfits of this year above and an animation with looks from my five years of blogging below. I went through all outfit pictures ever taken creating it, and it was very emotional. Some old pictures made me doubt if I am still as good as I used to be, others made me blush and wanna delete them immediately. But what is a blog if not a journey? Every travel needs ups and downs, and maybe especially the bad things happening are necessary for finding the right way.
During the last five years, I felt very proud of what I achieved with my blog but was thinking about giving up very often too. I asked myself if I have enough to tell to keep this blog alive. I don't want to do the same pictures, same poses and write the same hollow words to go with them again and again. I am not the most vivid writer nor a gorgeous model, so can I give you enough? What is it that brings you here exactly and so many of you?
There is a lot of pressure in the blogging scene, a lot of comparing and jealousy. Often I end up feeling hurt when certain agencies and brands seem to ignore me. Am I not good enough for them? In theory, I know that confidence is the key, but I still stumble again and again. But a kind reminder from myself to me: Sara you have been interviewed by your favourite shoe brand Melissa this year, you had a whole page feature in a major newspaper, and you met one of the world's biggest artists (only to name a few exciting things), this all means something. It might not change the world, but at least bring a little bit of colour into it.
I often feel like there are certain specific categories of bloggers and I fit none of them: I am neither "That vintage blogger" nor "this plus size blogger" or "that blogging model." But this is who I am, and authenticity has always been paramount for me: I am Sara, I love to dress, and I am inspired by many things from avant-garde fashion to pop culture, art, Asian street style and Barbie. I am a shopaholic, and I dream of shoes and handbags. When I grow old, I would like to have a museum-worth collection of clothes, just like Isabella Blow or Iris Apfel. I know I am galaxies away, but just give me time, and I keep going. This is what I love and what I wanna share.
If I imagine a life without this blog, it feels like a massive hole is opening up in my heart. I put a lot of my love, energy, and passion into every pixel you see here, and after five years I can barely imagine living without my baby. Like any child, it's not perfect, but it's learning and growing.
Thank you for being here, for all your comments and lovely emails and for believing in me when I sometimes don't. Thank you for all the exciting opportunities and things you brought in my life. I never dreamt of my parents having a collection of magazine clippings with me on it, giving interviews and meeting labels and designers I love.
Life is great! Let's get ready for the next five years!
|Highlight 1/5: My full page newspaper feature in the NZZ Stil (picture by Jeroen van Roojien)|
|Highlight 2/5: Being part of the colour walk at Spitalfields Market in (picture by Hanna Miles)|
|Highlight 3/5: Shooting at London gallery Nelly Duff for Valery Demure|
|Highlight 4/5: An interview on the page of my fav shoe label ever Melissa|
|Highlight 5/5: Hitting tons of newspapers with artist Pipilotti Rist and her completely pink tram|